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How can we help?
Formerly of Zedbrooks David Llyod department... We are:
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Slurpy Bastards! Fish & Chipocrits! Cat Thieves!
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WE WRITE IN CAPITALS!
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We blow our nose like an elephant and eat an apple like a horse through a letterbox!
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We can flog you:
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Beans
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Confectionary (not confectionery!)
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Bit of lemon
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Mongo Chutney
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NO BASTARD MILK!
But we can promise everything else you need*
*...is either out of stock or out of date
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Proudly explaining why it isn’t the red one—rather than telling you which one it in fact is—since 2013!
![](https://static.wixstatic.com/media/2b5346_c11aede7c6a347baacce4936b70a876d~mv2.jpg/v1/fill/w_200,h_200,al_c,q_80,usm_0.66_1.00_0.01,enc_auto/2b5346_c11aede7c6a347baacce4936b70a876d~mv2.jpg)
Everything in Quantity Two!
Winners of SLURPY BASTARDS of the year four times in a row!
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"Slurpier than a pot noodle sandwich!"
![pot-noodle-sandwich.jpg](https://static.wixstatic.com/media/2b5346_64dcc37a32024144b9e91a786770e39a~mv2.jpg/v1/fill/w_285,h_249,al_c,q_80,usm_0.66_1.00_0.01,enc_auto/pot-noodle-sandwich.jpg)
A Few Wee Testimonials
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